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GRR Vabalaz
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#51
01-04-2010
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so how've you been quadra. I missed you dude, i dont know if you play halo anymore butt i have been always, idk who removed who but it doesn't matter we didn't talk for a year or two. add me if you want at : Vabalaz.
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#52
01-04-2010
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Here is a villanelle I had to write for my AP English class. It's over a year old and I wrote it in like an hour because it was homework. Not too proud of it but I couldn't find anything else.
So that you understand the structure I had to follow: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle





As seas rise and buildings fall, I am stuck here in this inescapable room.
A meager crack in the wall shows a world being torn apart by the seams,
And this place in which I am now encased may soon become my tomb.

I can taste the death hovering in the air, as clouds begin to loom
Over cold, dark water which, as most men’s minds, begins to boil and teem,
And as seas rise and buildings fall, I am stuck here in this inescapable room.

I can see hollowness in every eye here, a void created by impending doom.
An ephemeral shine of hope in one’s eyes is vanquished by a distant scream,
And this place in which I am now encased may soon become my tomb.

I can smell the fear thick in the air. Almost visible, it produces a ghastly fume,
And I can hear, as this structure gives in, the resounding boom of a falling beam.
Seas rise and buildings fall, and I am stuck here in this inescapable room.

I can feel, against my arm, the kick of a child that will never escape the womb.
Cramped against countless bodies, this woman’s tears are all that gleam
In this place in which I am now encased that may soon become my tomb.

Rising seas caused by torrential rain have trapped us all here, and I begin to assume
That all hope for the man with a hole in each hand is nothing but a dream.
As seas rise and buildings fall, I am stuck here in this inescapable room,
And this place in which I am now encased may soon become my tomb.
Ian
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#53
01-05-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GRR Vabalaz View Post
so how've you been quadra. I missed you dude, i dont know if you play halo anymore butt i have been always, idk who removed who but it doesn't matter we didn't talk for a year or two. add me if you want at : Vabalaz.
Pretty good man, I'd add you if I still played hahah.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashTREv2 & SCL View Post
f..k. I thought you were writing about a girl the whole time, and the last stanza blew me off the edge. The flow of it is brilliant along with the rhyming; if I had a better understanding of what it's about I could appreciate it much more. Father-son relationship? Ugh I can't decide haha
Hah it's all good, no one would be able to guess just by reading it. It's actually from the point of view of some cubeecrafts I have sitting on my desk, if you know what those are.

And Atrophy, I liked that a lot.
Oh, you.
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#54
01-05-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qu4dra View Post
And Atrophy, I liked that a lot.
Thanks.
Any more thoughts on it than just that?
GRR Vabalaz
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#55
01-05-2010
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ill just add you for the fun of it :P
Ian
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#56
01-05-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by l Atrophy l View Post
Thanks.
Any more thoughts on it than just that?
Well, I'm not extremely familiar with villanelles, but I liked the structure a lot. Also, your word choice was quite good in my opinion. I might do a villanelle pretty soon for fun.
Oh, you.
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#57
01-06-2010
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If we don't conquer them,
They will conquer us,
And bring us to an end.
I can't see what's ahead of me,
But I see what's behind,
And it's full of black and white empathy,
And these trees that seem to blind.

We'll only play this game for so long,
With these beds we can't sleep on.
When this all bursts into flames,
Who could ever know if I'll see you again?
When the plane crashes and my heart stops shaking,
I'll rest my eyes but my bones will be aching,
As they always have.

She'll lead a brand new life,
But so haunted,
She can't turn away,
When she's lost it.
They haven't talked for months
But he's breathing down her neck.
No matter how many tears she seems to cry,
They always turn to diamonds.
And nothing that she could do,
Would keep them from shining.

You've got to let me go,
I just can't bear to see you,
All of these scars are doors I can't walk through.
With all these thoughts going in and out of my head,
I don't want to be remembered by the things you said.

Whether walls or clouds mark his path,
He'll never crash through the day,
And on no one else's cold behalf,
Will he drive away.
These words are powered by batteries,
And buttons side by side,
Every day the little child in me,
Struggles just to stay alive,
And I'm screaming.

Sometimes I think about airplanes,
And mistakes,
And earthquakes.
And I know you're not here.
Sometimes I scream at the top of my lungs,
At all the demons that stepped on me,
And don't alleviate my fears.
One day I swear I'll regret this,
But I can accept it,
Because these walls are just so thin.
She won't know how to get back,
When every road is off track,
And she knows she just can't win.

You've got to let me go,
I just can't bear to see you,
But everything I am is nothing I can argue.
Waves crash down on all the things you say,
No matter how I run I can't get away.

This mountain's too steep,
This bed's too deep,
And no matter what I do I won't fall asleep.


I keep double posting. You boys gotta step it up.
Oh, you.
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#58
01-06-2010
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I just got into writing again, I wrote this to a girl I like this morning.. and you can probably tell i'm confused about the situation, I'd like for you to tell me what you think, or how I could get the message across a little easier

two languages spoken in sound and movement,
Perplexed rain sinks through umbrella's
fingerprints and synthetic replacements,
Why don't the pieces fit?
Well I've been around this part of town before,
dishonesty is another word for utopia
A completed puzzle and a misshapen result,
Speak in cursive I won't be able to hear
These are the voices that have leftovers,
I'm the stray that is here just to be fed
We smile at our reflections,
Our outlines are more revealing than expected
I've got nowhere to run, I can't even ask why
I look up and see mirrors in the sky
Let them rain, let them pour,
I'll need help opening this umbrella
But for now it's best to be drenched

Quote:
Originally Posted by belayet12 View Post

This site is crashing into troll hell, with elitist junkies, ignorant sports fans, pretentious douchebags swarming around and did i mention trolling?
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#59
01-06-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qu4dra View Post
I keep double posting. You boys gotta step it up.
I hate writing poetry. It's so mentally tolling. And I never feel like I can express what I want as good as I'd like to.
HEiGHT iZ NaSTy
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#60
01-06-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by l Atrophy l View Post
I hate writing poetry. It's so mentally tolling. And I never feel like I can express what I want as good as I'd like to.
Don't try so hard just let it kinda come out.
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Originally Posted by l Call Me JK l View Post
Your welcome.
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Originally Posted by I KinZee I View Post
Your'e welcome...
Quote:
Originally Posted by HEiGHT iZ NaSTy View Post
You're welcome.
f..king idiot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knox View Post
You should visit the grammar thread so you can learn the difference between there/there/they're.


 

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