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Ian
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#231
04-10-2013
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Well the thing is I don't think girls really use the term "friendzone", it's more of the male perspective on things when they find out the girl isn't really interested in that way. And I don't think a person can control whether or not they are attracted to a person, it just kind of either happens or it doesn't. For the guy it's more like a transition from something potentially sexual to something definitely not, but for the girl it's a lot more stable.

That's how I see things at least
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CraftyVertan
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#232
04-10-2013
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It all depends on the two players' perspectives. If you pursue a girl who isn't interested, you get "friendzoned". If a girl that you aren't interested in pursues you, you don't enter a relationship, and could "friendzone" her. If either of you pursue each other and interest is mutual, you might start a relationship. I don't think it's any different between sexes.

Also, I really hate the term "friendzone".

"im pretty sure when i said, was because its the same word. not a different word. then the meaning's of the word... but okay"
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#233
04-10-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CraftyVertan View Post
How can a woman deciding to "friendzone" someone not be a conscious decision? They don't want to be in a sexual relationship, but would still enjoy the friendship. Of course they realize and understand that sentiment themselves, or else it wouldn't be happening.

What I meant is that I'm pretty sure the girl doesn't have the exact thought, "I'm going to place him in the friendzone....done! He's in the friend zone now." I meant that I highly doubt (unless you do something that is a deal breaker) that there is like, a specific moment that occurs where they "put" you in the friend zone.

It's more of like you said, she's just not attracted to the guy and simply isn't interested physically/romantically, but could still enjoy his company and want to be friends because they have fun and he has other things to offer.
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#234
04-10-2013
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Had a girl tell me she purposefully friend zoned our mutual friend not too long ago. It happens.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brawnt Kim
Which guy are you going to be? The one who walks out the bar, doesnít think he can do it, and takes it back into the rack? Or the guy who walks out the bar, doesnít think he can do it, but descends anyway while his friends stand twenty feet away because he told them, 'If it staples me, donít come spot me, I want it to kill me' ?
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#235
04-10-2013
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What does purposefully friend zoning even mean exactly though (as opposed to doing it not on purpose)?
She only comes to me in my dreams
So sleep becomes routine
It's not healthy, it's what makes you right
It's not healthy, it's what makes you...

She only comes to me in my dreams

So sleep becomes addicting
It's not healthy, it's what makes you right
It's not healthy, it's what makes you...



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#236
04-10-2013
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You always do it on purpose. There is always some point between seeing someone for the first time and having a relationship for any amount of time where you will know that you don't want to engage in a sexual relationship or anything like that.

"im pretty sure when i said, was because its the same word. not a different word. then the meaning's of the word... but okay"
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#237
04-10-2013
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In this case her thought process was "this guy likes me, but I don't like him, so I'm going to fiend zone him"


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brawnt Kim
Which guy are you going to be? The one who walks out the bar, doesnít think he can do it, and takes it back into the rack? Or the guy who walks out the bar, doesnít think he can do it, but descends anyway while his friends stand twenty feet away because he told them, 'If it staples me, donít come spot me, I want it to kill me' ?
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#238
04-10-2013
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In that case wasn't he already there? Hence the "I don't like him."

@Craft: Yea I agree, I just don't think it can usually be narrowed down to one exact moment where it happens. I could be wrong though, I'm not a girl.
She only comes to me in my dreams
So sleep becomes routine
It's not healthy, it's what makes you right
It's not healthy, it's what makes you...

She only comes to me in my dreams

So sleep becomes addicting
It's not healthy, it's what makes you right
It's not healthy, it's what makes you...



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#239
04-10-2013
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We may never know.

"im pretty sure when i said, was because its the same word. not a different word. then the meaning's of the word... but okay"
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#240
04-10-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Subliminal Eh View Post
But the reason I bring up the frustration is because the past 2.5 I haven't been able to maintain a positive relationship with any of the girls back home in St. Louis. I dated one chick for 7 months and that ended horrible, I dated this last chick for almost a year exactly and that ended horrible. Now I've been talking to this new girl that I'm really into but I'm afraid that things will end the same way.
It sounds like a general problem and not necessarily the military. My brother was in a relationship when he went to basic but they broke up before his deployment because she couldn't handle it. He got back from his deployment and met a (civilian) girlfriend almost immediately and they have a family together now-- have a 3.5yr old and they've been together for 4.5yrs or so. So it does happens. My other military friends had relationships while deploying and it didn't last. It's all situational and dependent on you and the girl like everything else.

My brother is working in Department of Defense and he's about to be hit with budget cuts too. They're talking about moving him from 4 days to 3 days a week with some sort of weekend shit. He's barely scraping by as it is now and his gf works as a waitress 4 days out of the week. It's sad that the soldiers (really vets) can get treated like that.
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